I’m a smart dude. I know this because I avoided unmitigated panic at San Francisco airport by ‘FedExing’ (am I off brand, UPS?) my video camera and tripod ahead of me.
I knew I wouldn’t have enough luggage allowance (or the patience to carry it, the tripod, the other bag…) so I thought it was a nifty idea.
When I flew out to CTIA, I didn’t bother taking the camera. Instead when I arrived in San Francisco, I had it ‘ParcelForced’ to me overnight. Genius. Brilliant. Everyone is a winner.
Apart from sending TO the United Kingdom.
Oh no.
That’s because the UK has an array of imaginative customs issues that you have to contend with.
Somehow, I’ve acquired the impression that doing business in a global climate (and in a virtual world) somehow skips the usual ‘arse’ of inter-country wrangling. when you watch the UPS or DHL advert, a nice person arrives in a shiny truck, picks up your package and within minutes, the package turns to light, flies over countless mountains and valleys (‘ain’t no valley low enough…’) and arrives by 9.30am in a different country.
Frictionless.
And false.
I sent the camera on Friday afternoon. $350 was the cost. A bit silly, given that if I doubled that, I could have had a return flight to SFO from London, but forget that. I insured the camera for $2,400.
I explained on the declaration bit of the UPS label that it was a video camera. My own property. That the goods originated from the UK. (i.e. I didn’t buy them in the States therefore no import tax should be applied).
I thought common sense would rule.
No.
The package arrived into the UK on Saturday 9th at 540am. About 32 hours ahead of me.
The helpful UPS web tracking feature displays this message:
CUSTOMS FORM C3 FOR PERSONAL BELONGINGS REQUIRED FROM RECEIVER
… followed by this message:
CUSTOMS FORM C3 FOR PERSONAL BELONGINGS REQUIRED FROM RECEIVER / RELEASED BY CLEARING AGENCY. NOW IN-TRANSIT FOR DELIVERY
This, coincidentally, is exactly the same message that was added to the tracking ticket on Sunday and Monday.
The ‘now in-transit for delivery’ sounds to me like, well, YES I need to complete a sodding C3 form, but yes, they’re actually going to deliver it to me.
And the nice UPS man will need me to complete the form.
Right?
Who the hell knows?
Not me. Well I suspect I need to do something because it’s been ‘in-transit for delivery’ for a few days now.
Perhaps I need to complete the form myself and fax it to UPS?
It would be rather helpful if that’s what the message said.
Joy of joys, I shall now phone up — breaking the cycle of efficiency — and find out.
Meanwhile the C-3 form (for bringing personal belongings into the UK from outside the European Union) is 4 pages long.
It features questions like:
You’d think someone would just look and see that it’s a video camera and a tripod.
You’d think someone would read the little note I put on it (“Don’t have the luggage allowance to take on airplane”).
You’d think someone would have noticed it’s one-single-box. Not a series of boxes (i.e. not the contents of my apartment).
You’d think someone would have done a bit of … independent thought.
I don’t need to complete a C3 form. Not when it’s a single unit. Just send it through and stop delaying everybody.
But no.
So today it’s all about faxing UPS.
